Penance

Is penance still penance if it is only partially voluntary? At which point does atonement achieve parity? And in an asymmetrical world, is parity even possible?

A reminder of a gift from the grave on the morning my penance was felt most strongly, I wondered why I was here at all. Decades of struggling with this question have led me to where I am today, a home lost centuries ago. But what worth has a home if there is no one left to inhabit it?

Carrying the penance far enough that disappointment became hurt, I know it is time to let it go. I don’t want atonement to define my life. But I also don’t want a half-lived one.